The most important adjustment young dads have to make is switching from a self-centric world to one in which every decision he makes from now on has to revolve around this little wide-eyed, helpless child who’s depending on Dad.  Us guys can be pretty selfish in our youth, and unlike our female counterparts, parenthood often catches us off-guard.  By that, I don’t mean the planning of it, but rather the responsibilities of it. Despite all our boundless love for this new little person, that adjustment can sometimes be a rough one and it can sometimes take a while.  For me, ‘a while’ meant years.  I took care of my responsibilities, I loved my boy immediately, but figuring out how to balance his needs with my own took some doing.  It becomes a balancing act between the best interest of this little bundle of love and the still-stirring dreams and aspirations of a young man in his twenties.

Now in my forties, I have a much better perspective and handle on this whole dad-business, but that was not the case at 29.  Getting older is daunting on that side of the hill.

One day, I took off to the shores of Geneva Lake to do some thinking in the sun and the water.  The following is the result of that.  It’s supposed to be a song, but I don’t know how to write music, and so I guess it’s a poem.

Long story short, I wrote this a long time ago for a little boy.  He’s not so little anymore, but the sentiments still apply.

 

CANDY BARS AND SHOOTING STARS

All those dreams of stardom

and movies of my own

Have given way to blocks and clay

rubber balls and ice cream cones

I guess I’ll have to face it

My priorities have changed.

The dreams are alive, they’ll never die

they just simply rearranged

 

Now it’s candy bars and shooting stars

Hide and go seek

The ice cream man, a summer’s tan

and running in bare feet

 

My life’s gone by at lightning speed

The years they just flew

I’m fast approaching thirty

and my best bud is barely two

With distance from the spotlight

I’ve got a better view

Cause through his eyes and nightly lullabies

I see a world that’s bright and new

 

It’s full of candy bars and shooting stars

Hide and go seek

The ice cream man, a summer’s tan

and running in bare feet

 

Now I may not make the big time

I put that book up on the shelf

There’s more in life to think about

than just my foolish self

But there’s no need to worry

This story is not grim

‘Cause he’s got dreams he’ll share with me

And I’ll share mine with him

 

— Brian Schnoor

Geneva Lake, Wi.

August 2002